I’ve found that reading about loss and grief, particularly around the issue of losing premature babies and stillbirths, has been incredibly helpful for me. To be honest, part of it is probably to be able to have a cathartic experience and cry. This seems to be a tangible way for me to feel like I’m […]
Archives for November 2010
The Grass Continued to Grow
One of the benefits of having attended a small school like Whitworth is the relationships I was able to form with professors. One of those persons was Jerry Sittser, my religion professor, mentor and friend. My favorite memory is Jerry was the year or two that he spent sitting on the Chapel carpet, eating brown-bag […]
Community Support Prepares Us for Journey Alone
In the immediate weeks following Micah and Judah’s death, we felt an amazing amount of care and support from people both online and offline. People sent us flowers and chocolates, folks from our church brought meals to us every night for a week, and cards kept pouring in. The amount of Facebook Wall Posts and […]
Four Weeks Ago Today I Became a Dad
Four weeks ago at this very minute (6:49am), I became a dad. I saw Micah delivered first; I even saw his little tiny 19-week 3-day arms and legs moving a bit when he first came out. And then little Judah, tiny Judah 2 ounces lighter than his bigger, older brother. I didn’t remember it at […]
Integrating the Grief
Another book I re-read recently was Jerry Sittser’s “A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss.” Jerry is a religion professor at Whitworth College and was my professor, mentor and friend during my four years at Whitworth. While I haven’t stayed in touch with many Whitworth folk, Jerry is the one who I always […]
Grief is Like a Long Valley…
One of the other books I read while we were away that first weekend was “A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis. I was a huge C.S. Lewis fan growing up, and while at college, but haven’t really read much of his stuff since. I found some aspects of “A Grief Observed” really interesting and helpful […]
“It’s hard…but not devastating.”
It’s amazing how a well-intended comment from one person can throw your entire day off. Two days ago I ran into a person in our community who I really like (no one connected to our church community, just someone I’ve gotten to know over the past couple years). This person is a Christian and we’ve […]
Hope Deferred: Heart-Healing Reflections on Reproductive Loss
I’ve been doing some reading on loss and grief the past few weeks, but some of the most profound essays I’ve read on the subject have come out of a little book called “Hope Deferred: Heart-Healing Reflections on Reproductive Loss.” Wow. This book is amazing, and worth reading even if you haven’t gone through any […]
Standing in the Wake of Devastation
The time that we spent in the hospital 3 weeks ago seems like a blur. After we had received the news from the doctor that the pregnancy had to be ended, they started Sarah on the drugs that would induce labor. They also gave her something to help her sleep. We were in Walnut Creek, […]
The Flowers are Dying
The flowers are dying in our home. In the days immediately following Micah and Judah’s death, our home was filled with beautiful flowers (photos here). Friends and family shared their care and concern through flowers, and amidst our pain and sadness, they helped to bring color to our house, and remind us of all of […]