So last night I decided to be helpful. This isn’t to say that I haven’t been helpful so far in this pregnancy…I’ve been doing pretty well picking stuff up around the house, taking over the vacuuming (even though that chore had just recently been switched over to Sarah before we found out we were pregnant), doing dishes, and other stuff. But I decided to be…really helpful. You know, like suggest to my nauseous wife that we need to be trying other things to eat other than pizza for dinner. Or to suggest to my wife who really doesn’t have much energy right now that we need to be making sure she’s getting all the vitamins and nutrients that she needs for the twins.
You know. Helpful stuff like that.
And as you can probably imagine – that went over really well.
Shortly after that, I pulled out my iPad and started to read from The Expectant Father. And that’s when I read that the author had a similar experience right around the same point in their pregnancy that we’re in now:
“I quizzed my wife about how much protein she was eating; I reminded her to go to the gym for her workouts; I even worried about the position she slept in. All in all, I was a real pain.”
Well…at least I’m not alone in being a total ass.
It’s normal for dads-to-be to go through some of this (maybe not the being an ass part – but the part about wanting/needing to feel involved/helpful/etc). I guess for me I need to work on finding things that enable me to feel like I’m being helpful and contributing to this process and journey of our pregnancy.
So this question is for other dads or partners. How were you able to feel involved and helpful in your journey of pregnancy? In what ways were you able to be supportive?
John Allen Bankson (KnowTea) says
Adam, this completely reminds me of when my wife was pregnant with our oldest. I was 27. I read all the books & magazine articles and tried to do all the healthy stuff. That Christmas I put together a healthy, no-candy Christmas stocking for her: walnuts, almonds, kumquats, etc. I thought it was great! She looked in the stocking and said, “I want Reese’s!”
Caitlin says
Yeah, my mom ate New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream when she was pregnant with me. Although it’s good to try to make sure that your wife is being healthy enough for the baby, you do have to realize that they are still a person with lots of hormonal changes going on, and thus cravings occur, lol. I think chocolate covered almonds would be a good compromise for that one!
Eric says
The thing is, you are going to annoy her no matter what (I’ve been thru 4 pregnancies) and there is NOTHING you can do to prevent that.
If you’re concerned about her vitamin intake. Keep that up. If she gets annoyed, she’ll get over it. Don’t take it personal. If you’re concerned about not eating pizza, make dinner yourself. If she doesn’t eat it, get her what she does want. She won’t listen to you (because what do we know??) She’ll listen to her OB on the next visit.
Ask her what she needs whenever you get up. Ask her if she needs anything before you sit down. Ask her if she needs anything while you’re sitting down. She’ll say no.
Until it’s 9:58PM and she wants a Blizzard from Dairy Queen and they close at 10.
Then you say yes Ma’am..
Holly M says
When my mom was pregnant with me, my dad would go out at midnight and get western bacon cheeseburgers for her, and get her all the olives she wanted. Of course she also craved fresh fruit. In October. That one was a bit harder…