Caleb Elijah • 12/30/11 • 8lbs 4oz

January 7, 2012 By Leave a Comment

At this point, many of you probably know that Caleb entered our lives 8 days ago, on December 30, 2011. Apparently he instinctually knew that his parents could use the tax credit for 2011, and was gracious enough to join us just over a week ahead of his January 8 due date.

I will share a more detailed version of our birth story in a few weeks (or whenever I get more than about 30 minutes to sit down at the computer), but it was pretty amazing. We arrived at the hospital 7cm dilated, so labor progressed pretty quickly. Sarah ended up pushing for over 2 and a half hours, and then we finally got a little vacuum assistance to get Caleb’s head around a corner, and then it was a few more pushes, and before I knew it, I had rubber gloves on and I was reaching down to help bring Caleb into this world and onto his mommy’s chest. Sarah did this 100% completely natural, no pain meds, not even a saline IV. It’s safe to say that we couldn’t have done it without our doula, which is something I’d absolutely 100% recommend to anyone having a baby.

He’s a beautiful baby boy…and there is so much more to say, but it will have to wait to future posts. He amazes me, makes me laugh, pisses me off, pisses on me, screams like a banshee, frustrates me, causes me to feel hopeless and helpless and makes me think he’s the greatest thing ever to happen to me. And I’m guessing that’s par for the course. You can see more photos here.

Filed Under: Dad Stuff, Newborn Stuff Tagged With: , ,

We’re Ready – Now It’s Up to Caleb

December 21, 2011 By 5 Comments

Well, we went to the doctor on Monday for a check-up, and the doctor confirmed that these Braxton Hicks contractions have in fact been doing something. Sarah is currently 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced. Apparently, I made quite the face when he said that, because Sarah just started laughing. I looked at the doctor and said, “Well, wait a second. I’m confused. Don’t…people normally go to the hospital when they’re 3 cm dilated?” His response: “Yup – and we send them home.”

So, he didn’t seem to think that it was going to happen…like…yesterday. But he did say that he was taking off next week, and that IF we were still pregnant when he got back on January 3 (our due date is January 8), then he’d be happy to induce her, because she’s ready. (Just a note, we aren’t actually planning on being induced, assuming all things progress normally and naturally. That’s the plan anyway.)

So. It’s all up to Caleb now, I guess. Here are some of my recent thoughts and experiences since finding this out:

  • For some reason, it’s hitting me JUST NOW that we’re going to have a baby. It’s really going to happen.
  • Every time that my phone rings, and it’s Sarah, I freak out. I answer the phone with a semi-frantic “Yes?!” and her first response has been to say “I’m not in labor. Now…”
  • I’m grateful that we spent time yesterday packing the hospital bags.
  • I’m also grateful that our car seat is installed and we’re ready to just throw it into the Subaru at a moment’s notice.

We have hired a doula, and I know that I’m going to be extremely grateful for her presence (because let’s be honest, the doula is there as much for me as she is for Sarah).

Sarah’s been devouring books recently, learning about vaccines, happiest babies on the block, the birth process, and a lot more. I’ve read a very small amount, and now I’m slightly terrified that I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. And I know that parenting is basically all on-the-job-training, but…perhaps I should stop writing blog posts and start reading more.

I know Sarah is ready for Caleb to come…well, yesterday. But I’d personally like to get through Christmas (I’m doing communion for the first time at our Christmas Eve Service, and preaching on Christmas morning). But let’s be honest, anytime between December 26 and 11:59pm on December 31st would be great, because who doesn’t want a tax break for just a couple days in 2011?

At any rate, this really is happening. I doubt I’ll blog much more until we have some super cute photos of the cutest baby in the world to show you, but if you want to keep updated, be sure to follow me on Twitter at @adamwc. I should note, however, that it’s been decided that it will be best for our marriage if I don’t live-tweet the birth. So you’ll know when we get to the hospital, and then you’ll know when Caleb is born. We’ll fill you in on the rest of the details later. Wish us luck and keep us in your prayers!

Filed Under: Medical Stuff, Pregnancy Tagged With: , , , , ,

What They Don’t Talk about at Birthing Classes

December 9, 2011 By 8 Comments

As many of you know, last weekend we were at birthing classes all weekend at the hospital where we will be having Caleb sometime in the next four weeks(!). They were helpful, we saw a lot of videos of births and learned about some possible situations that folks might not be expecting (e.g. emergency c-section). But, for anyone who has experienced a miscarriage, infant loss or stillbirth, there’s an obvious elephant in the room: your baby could die.

I apologize for the Debbie Downer vibe of this post, but that’s the reality that we don’t talk about. Life is incredibly fragile, precious and should never be taken for granted. And I suppose it’s primarily those who have gone through infant loss for whom this reality is all the more potent.

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Filed Under: Grief Stuff, Pregnancy Tagged With: , , ,

9 Months: Another Big Milestone

December 4, 2011 By 2 Comments

I suppose it’s fitting that when you read this post, Sarah and I will be in the middle of Day 2 of our Birthing Class in Medford at the Rogue Valley Medical Center, the hospital where Caleb will be born.

And today is the day of another big milestone: we’ve hit the 9 month mark.

I must say that it feels pretty amazing to be at this stage, although I’m pretty sure that Sarah might describe the way it feels using some other choice language at this point. 36 weeks. And everything is going along just as it should for little Caleb Elijah.

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Baby Registry for Caleb Elijah Walker Cleaveland

November 19, 2011 By 1 Comment

A few weeks ago, Sarah texted me and said that her belly-button seems to have “popped” and she was wondering if that meant that Caleb was ready to come out. I know that she’s getting to the point in pregnancy where she would love for Caleb to come any day now. And I’m pretty excited about that too – but I also realize how much preparation we still have to do before that can happen!

We’ve been in Ashland, Oregon for about a week and a half now. Sarah’s parents are coming tonight or tomorrow, and they’re going to help us get the rest of our house unpacked, setup and put together. It’s going to be really helpful. Sarah’s dad will be working on the crib, which is a goodo thing, since I’ve heard that many marriages almost ended when the couple tried to work to put the crib together.

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Filed Under: General, Shopping

One Year Ago Today, We Became Parents

October 26, 2011 By 1 Comment

One year ago today our sons, Micah and Judah, were born. We were so terrified and excited about the idea of twins. And yet, we were only given an hour or so with them.

This past week we were in New York visiting Sarah’s family, and I was able to hold Skylar, my niece. It was an amazing thing to hold her and just watch her – such a precious baby. And while I was holding her, and her little body was wiggling around in my hands…I was transported back to the hospital room in Labor & Delivery at Kaiser Walnut Creek. I was transported back to the one hour that I was able to hold Micah and Judah. There bodies were so tiny compared to Skylar, but for the one hour that they were born, I could feel the tiniest of movements as their bodies squirmed around, and as they fought and struggled to breathe.

Today was the one year anniversary of their births…and their deaths. Sarah and I decided to light two candles spend some time remembering their lives by looking through their memory box today. We pulled out the hospital blankets they were wrapped in, some matching clothes and toys that we had bought for them specifically…a few cute little tank-tops and hats from Kauai, where we first found out we were pregnant.

While we may find different ways to honor their lives over the years, this was a good way for us to do it today. We entered back into the events of the day together (if you are new to this blog, you can find those events detailed in posts here and here), talked about the various people who sent us gifts and shared some thoughts about the past year. We also re-read An Offering that was written by one of my best friends, Steve. I offer it again to you below as a prayer and a way to remember and honor the lives of Micah and Judah Walker Cleaveland. Thank you for all of your prayers and thoughts today.

An Offering

Steve Papineau • October 26, 2010

Micah who resembles God, in your smallness, in your innocence, in your brevity

Judah, praised one, in your smallness, in your innocence, in your brevity
know that you are loved

we cry for longing for the hour you were with us
our garments are torn
know that you are loved

Micah who resembles God, in the immensity of your place in our hearts, in your innocence, in your eternity

Judah, praised one, in the immensity of your place in our hearts, in your innocence, in your eternity
know that you are loved

we cry for longing for the hours you will not be with us
our garments are torn
know that you are loved

Filed Under: Grief Stuff, Reflections Tagged With: ,

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

October 15, 2011 By 1 Comment

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Family Portraits with Rachel Carey Photography

September 21, 2011 By 1 Comment

Last weekend, Sarah, Sadie, Caleb and I went out with our good friend Rachel to take some family portraits. We’ve known Rachel for a few years here in Livermore (she tells the fun story of how we met in this great write up on her photography blog, but yes, we met through Twitter) and I’ve been really impressed with her photography over the years. So I was really glad when it worked out for us to head out to Sycamore Grove Park and some vineyards with her to grab some shots. Sarah and I love the photos that we ended up with, and we wanted to share them with you. Enjoy! 24 weeks and counting!

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Filed Under: Belly Shots, Photography Tagged With: , ,
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